Writer’s Block

Sometimes,
when the words get stuck,
I force them out of me
to tell the silent world
of my fear of losing;
to tell
how scared I am
of people walking out on me,
and of the loneliness
that lurks behind.
But the fickle little things
refuse to rhyme,
so I crumble up the paper
and toss it far way,
leaving myself
sitting here
without a way
to say I’m sorry,
without a way
to ask them
not to leave,
or to beg for them
to stay …

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This Language That I Love

It limits us,
they said,
this language that you love.

(I couldn’t nod
or bear to tell them yes.)

We can’t say anything
if we haven’t got the words.

(But have you ever even tried,
and struggled with your tongue
to say and not just speak?)

There is just so much
that’s left unsaid …

(Because you never
search for it
in between the lines.)

… and so many things
that have no names.

(Let me ask –
does the world create the language,
or the other way around?)

It limits us,
they said.
But it frees me,
I responded,
this language that I love.

Earth & Sun

“You’re nothing but a big fat exploding ball!” Earth screamed. “I don’t know why I ever loved you.  All you did was cause me pain.”
“I never meant to,” Sun said softly.
“Liar!” Earth turned away, hiding her face and the tears that were about to come running down her cheeks. “You like it. You like keeping me on a string, you like watching how I hang on …”
“I don’t …” Sun tried.
“Of course you do. You like when things are yours, when you can possess them. That’s just the way you’ve always been.”
“I don’t think you are being fair. I liked you. That was all.”
“No, you didn’t like me. You liked me circling around you.” Now she turned back. She was angry. Sad. Disappointed. “You always have to be in the center of attention, don’t you?”
Sun remained quiet. He didn’t know what to say.
“It’s not just me. It’s the same with everybody in your life. You never let us get away from you, but you never commit to any of us. You’re a coward.”
“I’m not keeping you. You can leave any time you wait. I won’t stop you,” Sun said with spite in his voice.
“I will leave! I can find somebody new in an instant. Somebody better. I don’t need you!” Earth was screaming.
“Just go!” Sun’s voice was filled with sadness.
“You’re selfish. You take, but you never give. I don’t know why I stuck around this long.” Earth hung her head.
“I’m sorry, but I will never live up to your expectations,” Sun sighed.
Earth turned her back on Sun once more. It wasn’t the first time, and they both knew it surely wasn’t the last.

The Beginning

Beginnings are hard. And scary. You have to step outside your comfort zone into an uncharted territory where just anything might happen.
Once, everything was a beginning, and it did not seem hard at all. Each day meant something new. We had to make our first steps, pronounce our first words. We went to school, made friends, and fell in love – all for the first time. We met new people and learned new things, and there were so many beginnings that they did not even seem scary anymore.
But then, we grew up. And got scared. There were fewer and fewer beginnings. The days just came and went, never bringing anything new with them. We did everything we had to. We tried it all. All the starts, the awkward first steps, the falls, and the fails – all of that was long behind us. The world had nothing new left to show us. But the saddest part was, that we did not even want to start something new. We were afraid it would throw us out of our balance, that we would embarrass ourselves. We were scared to death of not succeeding.
At one point, we would ask ourselves, “When was the last time I did something for the first time?” Unfortunately, we would not know the answer. The only thing we would know is that we became old and boring. No more beginnings. Only endings.

Beginnings are hard, sure. A blank page is staring right at you. You can write whatever your heart desires. If you do it wrong, you will have failed before you even started. But, if you do it right, everything will just fall into place. Sometimes, when you go out there, when you throw yourself into a new beginning, when you have no idea of what to expect – it is best just to close your eyes, and jump, and hope for the best …